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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28948047">Photograph of ours, just you and me, no one else in it</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TFALokiwriter/pseuds/TFALokiwriter'>TFALokiwriter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Columbo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>1990s, Lieutenant Columbo Is Gay, M/M, Post-Episode: s09e04 Rest in Peace Mrs Columbo, There Is No Mrs Columbo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:54:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,505</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28948047</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TFALokiwriter/pseuds/TFALokiwriter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Columbo and George take their first photograph together after a couple decades together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Photograph of ours, just you and me, no one else in it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Me, at the beginning of Columbo: I look forward to photos of his wife!</p><p>Me, by the end of s10: THERE IS NO WIFE.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"The hat looks fine on you, George."</p><p>"I am not sure this is the right hat."</p><p>"It's the perfect hat." Columbo argued more than a day after his significant other recovered from the flu.</p><p>George frowned, patting on his hat feeling the general shape then froze and his mouth fell agape.</p><p>"Wait, this isn't the hat I like!"</p><p>George made a run for the inside of their shared apartment leaving Columbo standing beside the truck with dog in the back seat barking at the running -- yet much thinner-- man. Columbo just smirked as he shook his head and patted on his matty dark hair looking toward the door.  Dog stopped barking upon being handed a treat by Columbo.</p><p>"There, there, dog." Columbo said.</p><p>Columbo puckered his lips for a moment so he shuffled over to the other side of the car then stood behind the car door. He watched George exit the apartment with his hat being clenched on his head with a hand and made his way to the side of the door.</p><p>"Now, are you happy?" Was the question posed to George.</p><p>George's brows rose.</p><p>"What is the definition of happiness, Frank?" George asked as Columbo opened the door to the car then leaned his hands on the rim of the metal car door. "Nobody knows about that and I am sure the almighty doesn't either up there." </p><p>George shrugged, Columbo was simply smirking back at George as he listened to his ranting.</p><p>"Perhaps the almighty has a varying mood from day to day or minute to minute or hour to hour." George continued on his rant as he held a hand up toward the sky with his attention fixated on the clear blue sky. "makes me wonder if the almighty has some designated group of people who are his chew toys and they're perfectly finding that livable!" George frowned then shifted his attention to his significant other. "You follow?"</p><p>"You're nervous about having your first picture." Columbo said.</p><p>"Me? Nervous?" George was appalled with a hand on his chest. "Frank, you and I know that I am a complete wall when it comes to these things!" he folded his arms as he proceeded to laugh. "I am immune like you are to being criticized." George rubbed the back of his neck as dog whined in the backseat. "Otherwise, I am just the happiest man in the entire world unable to decide if this is the right hat."</p><p>Columbo looked at George like he were  the most interesting person in the world.</p><p>"I can't blame you in the shoes that we've lived in." He held a finger up. "George, I trust this photographer."</p><p>"Ww-w-w-why?" George stammered. "You've kept our little relationship going with your ability to lie without trying and my help inventing Mrs Columbo." he put a hand on his hip as he began to convey his discomfort. "The department knows the truth," he tipped his free hand over. "but outsiders knowing? That is terrifying."</p><p>Columbo put both of his hands on the edge of the door as he proceeded to reassure George.</p><p>"I helped her a really long time ago so she ran around with my name with her husband going with her as he was too a big fan of mine--" George's brows rose in shock as gears began to turn, as details became cleaned from the muck of Time, listening to his significant other. "and divorcing her then taking the name with him-- her keeping my name for a few years didn't harm me but she did help a lot of people under it."</p><p>George stared at Columbo.</p><p>"You have a woman running around with your last name and people are under the impression that you were married to a child?"</p><p>Columbo shrugged, quite meekly.</p><p>"That's unfortunate for them." Columbo said.</p><p>"Darling, it's very disturbing that you let her do that." George said, gently.</p><p>"She helped me with a bad fib that I did during the investigation." he got into the car and George joined him then they closed both car doors at once as Columbo talked. "I confided in her about my bad fib and told her our secret in 1972."</p><p>"You told her our <em>secret</em>?" George was horrified.</p><p>"She didn't care that she couldn't have me --just my last name--- so she hasn't told our secret to the press."</p><p>George was quiet for a solid moment processing the revelation.</p><p>"You did a bad fib?" George asked, startled yet very shocked at the unflappable man.</p><p>Columbo nodded back toward his partner, slowly, but sincerely.</p><p>"I was distracted about the thought of what to get you for Christmas." Columbo confessed.</p><p>George's stiffness and alarm faded replaced by a smile toward Columbo.</p><p>"That sounds like the young girl Kate you talked about once." George said.</p><p>"The very same." Columbo said with a nod.</p><p>"Kate the reporter has a hobby taking photos."</p><p>"In fact, yes." Columbo bore a smile then looked back toward the garage looking back at the investigation. "It's a reason why she and her husband Philip had to divorce: he didn't like how often she likes taking photos."</p><p>"Okay, now drive."</p><p>"George. . . I am not in the driver seat."</p><p>George looked toward what was in front of him then looked toward Columbo, squinting.</p><p>"You tricked me into the driver seat."</p><p>Columbo just smiled, sweetly, at George.</p><p>"I am ready as you are." Columbo said.</p><p>George sighed then started the car and drove off.</p>
<hr/><p>"Oh, what happened on your favorite soap today?"</p><p>"The pool boy got killed and everyone is trying to figure out who did it."</p><p>"It was the husband."</p><p>"No, it was the cook."</p><p>"Why do you think it was the cook?"</p><p>"The cook is infuriated with the mrses, looks at her like she is his world, like she is a queen--"</p><p>"Which she does look like one."</p><p>"And the butler is awfully cold to her so he couldn't have done it either."</p><p>"And has the detective interviewed the cook yet?"</p><p>"Not yet."</p><p>"Ah."</p><p>"Don't know why the pool boy killed her. . . Yet." George said. "Shame they don't air reruns."</p><p>George shook his head with a tsk as he frowned with his eyes peeled out for unexpected on the road. </p><p>"Could change, George." Columbo said, hopeful.</p><p>"It's taking too long." George whined.</p><p>"Our cars are outdated as it is." George glanced over toward Columbo for a moment then back on the road. "They were top of the line just a few years ago and now they're just a collector's piece."</p><p>"One day they should have some service where we can rewatch past episodes with a click of a button on our own time with few commercials," George proceeded to rant while gesturing at random passer bys and houses as he talked quite passionately on the subject. "Cars that don't get outdated after just a few years on the road, vehicles that run off electricity instead of fuel, and some baffling thing to do automatic parallel parking for us."</p><p>Columbo nodded; oil had a death grip on cars and it wasn't going to loosen up in the next twenty years by his view any time soon as it appeared churning along stronger than ever.</p><p>"One day, you and I, will be living in a world that has those things if we stick around long enough." Columbo's aged voice grounded his significant other to the now with the tinge of comfort and calm. "A world that has caught up to little old me and you."</p><p>"And we will be basking in it, together." George said.</p><p>"And married in it after a supreme court case that makes it the law of the land." Columbo said.</p><p>George threw his head back and laughed and cried.</p>
<hr/><p>George wasn't as young as he used to be so long ago and neither was Columbo. George's age was known to Columbo but unlike him, George retained his youth. It was quite a mystery why to Columbo but not one to George who blamed it ruthlessly his genetics for being so young, much like Rita, his thirty-four year old niece who looked fourteen, but Columbo always knew what the answer was: love and having a stress free life style. They had been careful and they had played it safe and always had a dog on hand as a extra precaution in the event of a attack that George always feared.</p><p>The car was parked in the parking lot. Columbo was the first to exit then take dog out of the back seat and carry him in his arms then was joined by George who was busy putting his hat on then walked toward the entrance of the building side by side as dog stared wearily around his owners. They entered the building then went to the backroom -- a door that had been left open -- and dog was set to the floor where he whined looking around.</p><p>"Who's there?"</p><p>Kate came out, holding a gun in hand, then lowered it in relief.</p><p>"Oh, hi Katie." Columbo waved back at the younger woman, now over twenty years since they last spoke, with a smile. "Thought you got that mob investigation case over with."</p><p> Kate lowered her hand gun then put it with a sigh.</p><p>"Frank, call before you come earlier than expected." Kate said</p><p>"I ask that every time and he never delivers that certainty." George joked, pointing back at Columbo.</p><p>"Well, no one is here except for us." Columbo said. "Your work is hardly busy at this hour anyway."</p><p>"Do you watch my customers in here?" Kate was bewildered.</p><p>"Eh, I just enjoy watching a soap from my car from time to time in front of your work." Columbo confessed as he patted on his hair. "So, do you have some chili?"</p><p>"It's in the other room." Kate replied then laughed, light heart and warmly. "I brought some over just for you." Columbo walked around the counter heading toward the direction that Kate pointed in. "Right over there."</p><p>"Thank you, I'll get it into the to go baggy." Columbo put on his white gloves and walked into the room that she did not point in.</p><p>It was quiet for a long moment so George cleared his throat.</p><p>"Darling, that wasn't the room she pointed in."  George raised his voice.</p><p>"I was wondering where the chili was." Columbo went in through the other door.</p><p>Kate smiled with a shake of her head then turned her attention toward George.</p><p>"Hi." George said with a wave. "You're Kate."</p><p>"You're George." Kate said.</p><p>"You're a red head." George said in awe. "You're---" he stumbled over his words. "You almost look the way that I imagine Mrs Columbo."</p><p>"Almost?"  Kate lifted a brow, bewildered, leaning a hand on the nearby table then leaned forward as she proceeded to reply. "Talk about<em> completely</em>." she bore a fine smirk in response. "Years being married together---I have the face to prove that we've been together for some time."</p><p>"Do you have the temperament to prove that you've been around the one more thing kind of man?"</p><p>Kate  puckered her lips before replying.</p><p>"Depends on the occasion." Kate admitted then sat down into a chair. "He just rubbed off me, . . a little."</p><p>George stood there for a moment as a fact crossed his mind regarding what he had seen just moments earlier.</p><p>"You bought a collector's car." George reminded as he went over toward the second chair in front of the camera with a canvas behind it.</p><p>"Maybe more than a little." Kate shrugged in response then smiled. "But, it just makes emulating him that much easier."</p><p>"And yourself?" George asked.</p><p>"It's easier to be annoying when annoying in heart." Kate said. "Even for mob boss, you need the right buttons to push and how to do it."</p><p>"And this didn't get you nearly killed in the beginning?" George asked. "No one is that lucky."</p><p>"If I started this as a immature and inexperienced woman, I would not be speaking with you."</p><p>"Not even a little?" George lifted a brow.</p><p>"I had some slips, near losses, learning to be detective and doing it right. Some people, some witnesses didn't even make it."</p><p>"Least you are a better detective than you were now."</p><p>"Yes, I am."</p><p>"So, how is the business?"</p><p>"Doing great, my daughter is studying to be a lawyer and the money that I have made lately can cover her future hospital stays."</p><p>They laughed at once for a long while until their laughter had faded. Dog was seated down by George's side until Columbo returned, "One more thing." then their entire attention returned upon him. Their attention shifted toward him.</p><p>"That's not chili. That's gravy." Columbo replied, looking so disappointed in her. "Your breakfast gravy, Katie."</p><p>"Columbo, please, get into the studio." Kate motioned a hand toward the studio restraining a smirk quite well.</p><p>She had wanted him to do some sniffling out to discern what was really cooked and what had been a murder plot cooked by a ex-mob boss -- a far difficult case ---, but the meal being found wasn't expected. </p><p>"And it's three days old." Columbo's voice grew concerned as did his features setting the old breakfast gravy on to the nearby table. "Don't mean to pry, but, are you okay, Katie?"</p><p>"Just forgot about it." Kate said as Columbo did as he had been asked along with his partner. "Excuse me, but are you going to wear that hat?"</p><p>"I am." George confirmed with a nod. "Old fashioned, but just as a graceful as I am."</p><p>"It's a 1940's hat." Kate pointed out.</p><p>"I take lousy photos without this hat." George patted on his hat. "They're so blurry and uneven--they're not even photos."</p><p>"Oh!" Kate remembered as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Right." she had a small nod afterwards withdrawing her hand. "We talked about this; one photo without and one with the hat."</p><p>Columbo took a handful of his rain coat then shuffled his way over toward George's side then seated into the chair alongside him then released his grip on the article of clothing. George was dressed in such a way that he would look directly out of a old photograph with the vest, the brown articles of clothing, and the white shirt that only stood out because of the red ascot which made it pop. Compared to George, Columbo looked more of a defining period piece of the present with his tie, raincoat, and dark hair. </p><p>"Ready, set, say cheese!"</p><p>Columbo smiled and George smiled as well.</p><p>"Okay, let's try this again."</p><p>"Without the hat." George took off his hat.</p><p>"Ready, set, CHEESE!"</p><p>Columbo smiled, George had a crooked smile to share as well.</p><p>"Something is wrong with this picture." Kate said. "Put the hat back on."</p><p>"I told you I take lousy pictures." George put on his hat.</p><p>"It's the best lousy picture I ever had." Columbo said, smiling toward his partner, affectionately as George folded his arms and waited in annoyance.</p><p>"CHEESE!"</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>George talks a lot when stressed/nervous and George likes soap operas, canonically, in episodes where Columbo's 'wife' calls. Do with what you wish. Canonically, George takes lousy pictures and hardly has any taken of him solo except for domestic family pictures that Columbo took with a camera at home that are shown in A Friend In Deed.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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